I Wish I were a Bear

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

 
I WISH I WERE A BEAR…
IF YOU’RE A BEAR, YOU GET TO HIBERNATE. YOU DO NOTHING BUT SLEEP FOR SIX MONTHS. I COULD DO THAT.
BEFORE YOU HIBERNATE, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO EAT YOURSELF STUPID. I COULD DO THAT TOO.
IF YOU’RE A BEAR, YOU BIRTH YOUR CHILDREN (WHO ARE THE SIZE OF WALNUTS) WHILE YOU ARE SLEEPING AND WAKE UP TO PARTIALLY GROWN, CUTE CUDDLY CUBS. I COULD DO THAT.
IF YOU’RE A MOMMA BEAR, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU MEAN BUSINESS. YOU SWAT ANYNE WHO BOTHERS YOUR CUBS. IF YOUR CUBS GET OUT OF LINE, YOU SWAT THEM TOO. I COULD DO THAT.
IF YOURE A BEAR, YOUR MATE EXPECTS YOU TO WAKE UP GROWLING. HE EXPECTS YOU TO HAVE HAIRY LEGS AND EXCESS BODY FAT.
YEP, I WISH I WERE A BEAR.